The Boundless blog is a collection of unique voices addressing the issues young adults care about right now – everything from dating and faith to current events.
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Roundtable: Friends and Family
There are obvious transitions that come with young adulthood; education, career and marriage are the "big rocks" that most young adults have to navigate, often in rapid succession. But there are other shifts that occur, too. Balancing the world of family and friends can bring its own share of relationship tension and change. You're grown up, but your family is still important to you. Yet your friends occupy a good chunk of your time as well. How do you choose? Is blood thicker than water? If you still live near (or with) family, prioritizing it all can be even more daunting. Here are some strategies for fitting everyone in.
Culture: Turning the Tables on Lisa Anderson
Lisa Anderson has hosted The Boundless Show for over five years — since the very first show in January 2008. She's interviewed hundreds of panelists and experts, and drawn humor, wisdom and hope from them all. But what about her own story? Who is Lisa? What has God taught her through singleness, Boundless, friendship and her own mistakes? And does she still think it's weird when someone recognizes her voice? At the request of listeners who've asked for the tables turned on Lisa, Everyday Relationships host Susie Larson puts Lisa in the hot seat for the type of candid conversation that Lisa loves.
Inbox: When to Quit
She turned him down, but does that mean his time is up? Could she change her mind? What should a guy think (and do) when he's hoping the girl of his dreams will give him a chance, even if she won't right now? Candice brings a balance of truth and grace to this tale of persistent pursuit.
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--What is the song that's between Lisa's interview and the question with Candace?
--RE: When to Quit
Using the phrase, "past relationship," in the inbox question makes me think that this isn't a recent breakup but is instead an excuse she's giving because she doesn't like him and doesn't want to say directly that it's *him* she doesn't like. If it is a recent breakup, he's a jerk to have asked her out several times (she keeps saying no) right afterwards. I'm also not sure what to read into the fact that he says he could see himself marrying her. Does that mean she's marriage material or has he fallen "in obsession" with her to the point that he thinks he's in love with her prior to ever going on a date. Regardless, it sounds like a situation he's better off walking away from.
--Move on, dude. If she changes her mind, she'll know where to find you.
--Lisa, thank you for crying. Honestly. Everything you said was so great and real, and I've always appreciated that about you - but I really, really appreciated when you starting crying (even though I'm sure you weren't thrilled about it). It's nice to know that other people cry about the things that I cry about ... it was refreshing to hear the honesty in your voice in that moment.
I remember your fence story from the first time you told it, and I remember you saying then that it's a hard thing when you realize that you're not anyone's most important person. And I will add, when you're not anyone's favorite person, either. It's hard. And sometimes it makes me cry. And then I pick myself up for another day, week, month ... but I get it about the fence (okay, I live in a condo, so I don't get it about the fence. But I get it about the water heater.)
Thanks for being real. :)
--Aw, Lisa, you've given us a gift. It can be easy to bring a position, a role, or a message while leaving humanity at the door--thanks for coming to us as a real person!
--Wow, Lisa! It was a little bit of a shock to hear feelings I've had spoken aloud. As a single, successful woman, I often feel alone in that no one else has to think of me before making plans. Also, the load of decisions and taking care of my household all on my own can be hard. There is that sense that I'm alone, not just single. Yet, I know I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing-teaching elementary school, making a difference for at risk kids. I received a word a few years ago that I am single, but not alone. On those days when all of my responsibilities seen too much, I try to remind myself of that. Thank you for sharing your story!
--Thank-you for sharing with us Lisa. I cry a lot about my singleness - by myself, never in front of others...sometimes curled up in bed. I even imagine people and situations that aren't real that bring me to tears... just an artists runaway imagination I guess. As for the question of who do I blame - me, myself and I. As much as I've been disappointed by other gals' decisions to say 'no', it just isn't attractive to blame others. All I can do is keep myself in spiritual and physical shape (something I'm failing at currently), and just keep going out there and taking the hits. It does take a toll though...
--It was SO encouraging to hear that other people have the same thoughts that I do. Thanks, Lisa, for saying what some of us apparently are thinking. And I totally get the whole fence situation...only for me, it was the car trouble. I kept thinking (though I tried hard NOT to) things like "I just shouldn't have to deal with this all by myself."
--Haven't heard the interview yet but reading this comments are quite incredible by it self. Maybe we should have a "Boundless" get to gather where everyone can meet and know the people who walk similar paths and be encouragement to each other :) It would be fun to meet the regular commenter and the people who write the articles. Maybe do one next year, I have no vacation time left this year ;) Thanks Boundless for all you do.
--In theory, I agree that the guy who asked the inbox question should probably move on. However, given Lisa's interview, part of me wonders:
Could it be possible that he has trouble letting go because he wanted to become the "solution" for her (essentially, offer himself as a potential future husband so that she doesn't have to "deal with [insert difficult situation] all by herself," etc)?
--"I blame my twenties on myself, my thirties on men, and now that I'm going into my forties I'm blaming it on God."
This response cracked me up, Lisa. I love that you haven't lost your awesome sense of humor, in the midst of all this, lol.
And I too love that you cried. Honestly it's so refreshing to hear the realness. That others struggle too, over the confusion and realities of where they are in life. I know that was a vulnerable moment for you but thank you for being willing to have it. And for being a voice calling out to your fellow singles to keep on keeping on, trusting, serving, and living, no matter what.
--Wow what a beautiful interview with Lisa. Wanted to give you a hug, Thank you for being this open and talking about your life and singleness, we love you and will be praying for you. Thank you again :)
--Thanks Lisa for being you. I'm close to 30 and those frantic moments and "what will I do with the rest of my life if I don't get married?" feelings are coming more frequently. It is indeed painful to know I am no one's special person and though people around care, they are not fully committed to my life or what happens to me. It is more painful to know I do not have the right (or permission) to be fully and intimately invested in someone's life. It's nice to hear you share your feelings and know none of us are alone in this.
I would love to read your book when it's ready. Keep being you and may God give us grace to walk steadily with Him whether we're single or married.
--RE: Turning the Tables on Lisa Anderson
Thanks for your openness Lisa, and thank you indeed for all you do for our community. I’m praying that Lord would give you a new and overflowing joy that would totally refresh you and flow out infectiously to everyone around you as a beautiful blessing. :-D
P.S. I hope to hear you’ve been inundated by Facebook friend requests by this time next week. ;-)
RE: ROCK THE BODY 2013
I hope you’ve got some intermediate- and advanced-level suggestions for the challenges ready; I’m a little weak on number 5 and will definitely work on that, but I’ve had the privilege of living in the same area for many years now and have been rocking the other four in the same church the whole time. :-)
--Oh, and I’m not asking for extra challenge because I’m competitive or just for the sake of winning a contest – as my profile and screen name indicate, I’m not eligible… for the competition that is. Boundless has helped make me much more eligible for other things. XD
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