Can We Be Friends?: Episode 272

Can We Be Friends?: Episode 272

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Listen to this week's show!

Roundtable: Friendships With Married People

Your friend just got married, and you’re seeing a lot less of her. Is your friendship officially over? Or you’d like to get to know that new guy at church — the one who’s a cyclist, like you — but with three small children, he seems to never have the time. Are friendships between singles and marrieds possible, or do different life stages, interests, schedules and priorities make it nearly impossible to connect? This week’s panel shares insights from both sides of the aisle.

Culture: Pro-Life Miracles Go Mobile

You know about abortion. You’ve heard about (and perhaps helped) pro-life efforts in recent decades. But do you believe that the battle for life is winnable? Michael Homula does. As executive director of ICU Mobile, this single guy with a story is using innovative strategies and hard-core business plans to beat the abortion industry at its own game.

Inbox: The Great Church Search

Few people like church-hunting. It’s intimidating, awkward and usually overwhelming, especially for singles who have to go it alone. This week’s question is from a listener who wants to know how to start the process, what to look for, and how to know when she’s found her match. Martha and I share our thoughts.

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  • I enjoyed today's round table very much. My married friends have been gracious when it comes to including singles in various activities; these friendships have meant a lot to me in the last couple years. Of course, I could definitely relate to Lisa's comments about not having a "child-friendly" home. The last time I had a three-year-old and six-year-old over, I ended up giving them my molecular model kits (the ones with the little balls and pegs) in lieu of age-appropriate toys/games. The girls enjoyed building molecules for a while, but I don't think they had a clue what the models represented.

  • Greetings from Australia!

    Thank you for a great discussion on friendships between singles and marrieds. Another point to add about how married people can help singles: in public, it is often unhelpful for couples to be overly physically affectionate with one another, whether it be at church gatherings or other social events. Singles can support married people with small children, by engaging them in adult conversation - especially stay at home mums who can find themselves isolated and in need of adult companionship.

  • Here's my church experience...

    I attended a solid, biblical, gospel preaching/believing church before I left for college. The college I attend is 400 miles from home - so the Sunday morning commute would be a bit long. ;) Before moving to school I asked my pastor if he recommended any churches in the area, and the only ones he knew of to recommend were 30 minutes away. So after I moved to college I Googled "Baptist churches in [the county my school's located]." I found a church 7 miles away. I then proceeded to check out their website and everything I read was solid, so I went the following Sunday to check it out. To be quite honest I thought I would be church searching for a while. Anyway, I went to that church and really liked it! The pastor had a great sermon. The congregation was a pretty small, but everyone was extremely welcoming and friendly... to quote Lisa, I had "come home." I continued to attend the church and after a few Sundays I asked the pastor about some specifics about his (and the church as a whole) views/beliefs on certain theological topics. Throughout the semester I continued to get more involved and within a year and a half I became a member.

    As far as advice, I would give...

    1.) PRAY! Ask that the Lord might lead you to a biblical, solid gospel believing church. You never know what people you might run into who might invite you to their church... Hang out at Chick-Fil-A and ask people. ;)

    2.) Check out websites connected to your denomination and see if they have any recommendations. And check out other websites that tend to follow your beliefs. For example,  9Marks and The Gospel Coalition both have places where you can do a "church search" based on your zip code.

    2.) Ask friends where they go - especially friends who tend to think like-minded with you.

    3.) Listen to sermons online (especially sermons dealing with tough topics) and see if the content of the pastor's sermon holds up to scripture.

    3.) Go to local churches and talk to the pastors.

    4.) If you've found a church you like don't be afraid to get involved. I really started getting to know people from my church by getting involved. If you don't know where or what to get involved in, ask the pastor, deacons, elders, or one of the members, I'm sure they would be more than happy to assist you and you'll get to know them better in the process!

    And remember, no church is perfect. The church is made up of sinful humans saved by the grace of God.

  • Thanks again for another great show. I am in the position where I have many married friends. Some do make the effort to make time for me, most are busy with the demands of married life, and are parents too.

    As for church, well the reasons I attend the church I go to now, are varied. Firstly, I went to a few activities at the church first. The people I got to know, were welcoming, friendly, and seemed genuinely interested in me as a person. The fact that I was made to feel so welcome, was the thing that cemented my eventual decision to leave the church I grew up in, and choose to come to a new church.

    Of course, it is a fact that for those in their twenties and thirties, life is a time of transitions. Most of the friends I made 15 years ago no longer attend my church. Nowadays, there are many older males at church, whose faith I respect and look to.

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