Earlier this month, I had the extreme joy to officiate the wedding of one of my best friends, Jay, and his wife Melissa.

 

First off, I'm not an ordained minister but it's amazing what you can get on the internet with only a name and an email address. Anyway...

 

 The beauty of the scenery in Boulder, CO was second only to the radiance of the bride. My friend Jay had picked a true treasure. As we stood together at the alter, I contemplated how familiar the surroundings were to the journey they were about to take on.

 

Like mountains, marriages are shared by many people. Your marriage is not your own because your life is not your own. You share it with your friends, family and community.

 

Like mountains, marriages are built from the bottom up. The foundation of a marriage is an authentic and intimate relationship that can withstand many powerful forces.

 

But the point I camped on the longest, the focal point of this wedding ceremony was this:

 

Like mountains, marriages can look like a solid structure from a distance. But when you get close, you see they are both built by millions of rocks.

 

Real mountains are constantly evolving: constantly eroded by the weather and time yet perpetually forced skyward by the Earth's crust.

 

Marriage's are no different. They too are shaped over time. They too grow and diminish.

 

The millions of rocks marriages are created by at not only the lives and experiences of the bride and groom but the lives and experiences of the people around them (again, your marriage is not your own). And the experiences we give to each other's marriages - the rocks we can contribute - can either build up or break down. Lies, rumors and pride are all rocks we can throw at other people's marriages that can start avalanches - decimating entire faces of a mountain of a marriage.

 

But when we give blessings, we add rocks to other people's marriages that can last a lifetime.

 

In the book Dr. John Trent wrote with Gary Smalley, called The Blessing, we learn that the blessings we give each other help us experience, at the deepest parts of our hearts, the certainty that we are highly valued and forever treasured by someone incredibly significant in the story of our lives. Blessings fight back against a toxic culture. They open hearts to a lasting faith. And they can help heal the hurts from the past.

 

Back at the ceremony, Jay and Melissa had few friends and family stand up publicly bless their marriage. It was such a moving moment!

 

Does your marriage need a blessing? I've often found that when I need something in my life, the best place to get it is by giving it first. Doing unto others often means it will be done unto you.

 

Can you bless someone else's marriage? Make someone a meal, invite them to go on a hike, or offer to babysit their kids and give them a much deserved date night. The possibilities and opportunities to bless someone's marriage are endless.

 

QUESTION: What are some other ways you can bless someone else's marriage?

 

(Photo courtesy of George Lamelza)

 


Sam Hoover (@sam_hoover) is a contributor for Dad Matters and the Assistant Manager for Social Media for Focus on the Family. 

Follow us on Twitter @DadMattersBlog