Why I'm Not Despairing Over the Marriage Rulings

Daly Focus

Life is beautiful and imperfect, a source of wonder and a challenge so complex that it’s good to pause from time to time and check our perspective and priorities against eternal truth. ReFocus, promises to help you navigate today’s culture.

Why I'm Not Despairing Over the Marriage Rulings

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The family and I have, ironically, just landed in Washington D.C. for a tour of historic Williamsburg. From the small television in the back of the seat on the airplane, I watched the proceedings from the steps  of the Supreme Court as reporters analyzed the news coming from inside the historic building.


Today’s Supreme Court rulings overturning part of the federal Defense of Marriage Act and failing to rule on California’s Proposition 8 case are deeply disappointing.


Together, the Court neglected to uphold the will of the people through their elected representatives in Congress and the public votes of more than seven million California citizens. 


Yet, however disappointing the rulings may be to those of us who embrace natural marriage, the decisions should not elicit a spirit of despair.


To be clear, the Court rulings responded to two complex cases asking narrow legal questions.  Legal experts will spend days dissecting the pages of opinion and case law. And yet, for most Americans, the big picture is more of what the Court did not do:


  • It did not create a federal constitutional right to same-sex marriage as it did for abortion in 1973.


  • It also did not declare same-sex marriage a civil right on the order of ethnicity or nationality. 


Today’s two rulings do not touch the 38 states across our nation that enshrine natural marriage as law. And the two rulings don’t diminish the job of the Church to proclaim God’s truth to a culture that desperately needs it.


The critical role of man-woman marriage is not diminished by these rulings today.  The essential need for children to have both a married mother and father is not lessened by the opinions.


Proponents of same-sex marriage are hailing today’s rulings as a turning point for the institution of marriage and, indeed, the debate will continue. 


That’s why, especially in the days to come, the Church will have a new opportunity to shine its light into a confused culture.


It is time for everyone who supports the natural definition of marriage to recommit and affirm the sanctity of their own marriages. We must humbly confess the damage we have done to marriage by our own collective careless treatment of it. As we continue to distance ourselves from God's design for marriage and family, Christians will need to take their oath and commitment to marriage more seriously. Though the divorce rate among committed Christians is lower than among the general populace, it remains far too high.


The single greatest argument we can present to the world on this issue of marriage is to personally live out marriage in all its God-ordained fullness and radiant beauty.


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  • --Wonder what Bono thinks of gay marriage...

  • --I have to say that I'm disappointed in this statement: "Together, the Court neglected to uphold the will of the people through their elected representatives in Congress and the public votes of more than seven million California citizens." Specifically, I am disappointed because it is not the role of the Supreme court to uphold the will of the people. Their role is to interpret the Constitution and determine if it is being applied correctly in specific scenarios. Expecting them to uphold the will of the people makes them dangerously vulnerable to the whims of culture. Our Supreme court is not a popularity test and we shouldn't ask them to be.

  • --I have to say that I was very disappointed, but not shocked, by the Court's ruling today. We as Americans, and especially we here in California, have consistently had our votes overturned by judges and elected representatives. It seems we no longer live in a free place, where our right to decide societal norms is decided BY the people and FOR the people. I do feel very discouraged and can't help wondering what kind of society my grandchildren will grow up in. Will it be a society where perversions are regarded as normal and even celebrated? Clearly this ruling will have far-reaching implications for all of us and the values we are trying to teach our children. If Biblical standards are now being routinely tossed out as the foundation of our society and laws, then tell me what is to prevent polygamy as the next frontier for marriage in the USA? What would be the basis for telling someone they can't marry their dog? How will this ruling affect churches and their ability to teach us right from wrong based on the Bible? Will even pastors be forbidden from speaking against such activity or risk losing tax-exempt status or perhaps face jail time? Even our military can no longer pray in Jesus' name, and I don't know if they can even use the word "God" anymore! I know the deterioration of the world is clearly foretold in the Bible as we steadily turn away from the God who created us and His Holy Word, but how very, very sad it is to watch it happening.

  • --To shirkingviolets and others who disagree with Jim Daly and Focus On The Family, remember that biblical truth, that being the sanctity of marriage between one man and one woman, is not a cultural whim.  Those of us of faith, who believe that the word of God is true, know that men having sex with men, and women having sex with women, should not be the basis for "marriage" celebration.  The failure of the court to recognize the higher law is what is disappointing.  I would encourage those of you who are intimidated by the dominance of the left in the media to stand against statements that challenge the unchanging, un-evolving truth of scripture, and against a court that fails to recognize the same truth.  Let your voices be heard.  That is what Jim Daly is doing, despite the left being "disappointed".

  • --"That’s why, especially in the days to come, the Church will have a new opportunity to shine its light into a confused culture"

    Confused culture?  

    Matthew 7:1

    Luke 6:37

    Luke 6:41

    Romans 2:1

    Romans 14:10

    Romans 14:13

    Corinthians 4.5

    James 4:11

  • --And don't forget these, Jim:

    Romans 1:26-32

    Leviticus 18:22

    Leviticus 20:13

    Deuteronomy 23:17

    Isaiah 3:9

    Ezekiel 16:49

    1 Corinthians 6:9-11

    2 Peter 2:6

    Jude 7

  • --Sorry, but I do not think that our culture is confused as is evident by the ruling today.  Over half of Americans support gay marriage and that number will continue to rise as the next generation comes of age.  Inevitably, same sex marriage will be legal in every state.  The culture war is fizzling out.  The far right is loosing ground as its population ages and more and more are moving to the center and left of center.  Hopefully Evangelicals will follow suit or they will continue to loose credibility in our society.  

    I am a former Evangelical and all of my family members are believers and good hearted people who are a little "confused."  Please do not take this as an attack on evangelicals as that is not my intention.  We are all entitled to believe what we want and I do respect those who think differently than myself.



  • -Mbutton... regardless of what biblical truth is, the Supreme Court of our United States is not set up to legislate what is allowed and what is not. It's role is simply to determine if laws that have already been set in place are constitutional. If change needs to happen, then it needs to be from the constitution. I was not saying that supporting traditional marriage is a cultural whim. Only that if we ask our judges to rule based on popularity, we're going to find ourselves at the WRONG end of a lot of rulings. For example, the American people currently demand abortion at the desire of the mother. Do we want the courts to rule based on the desire of the majority of American people, or do we want them to rule based on the value of each human life as is set forth in our Constitution? We need to be careful what we ask for. Asking the Supreme Court to rule based off of what the public wants puts them in a role they were never intended to be in and completely negates the check that they were meant to be on the other branches of government.

  • --Well said, Mr. Daly. I commend not only your words, but the spirit behind them. God bless.

  • --Just curious, can you be an evangelical and support same sex marriage? Is there anyone out there who is a believer and supports gay marriage?

  • --Marriage is between two people son that we can replenish the earth and same sex marriage can't do that just because the world thinks it is right don't mean we should do it.I sin but I don't ask God to make it ok so I feel that no one else should.

  • --Many of you conveniently forget that slavery and interracial marriage were once supported by professed "people of faith" who used the Bible to support those positions.

    For example, in 1958, Jerry Falwell, at the time a defender of segregation, in a sermon railed against integration, warning that it would lead to miscegenation, which would "destroy our [white] race eventually."

    So please--don't try to use Biblical principles to defend anti-equality positions.  Have the courage to say that you don't like it because you're either disgusted or frightened by it.

  • --For those who think they're clever by "cherry picking" verses in the Scripture to point out what they ignorantly believe to be inaccuracies, I'll advise you to Isaiah 5:20. It reads as follows: Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.

    I'm certain that Jim Daly is not "judging" homosexuals. But to claim that Scripture backs up embracing Gay Marriage is ignorant. So ignorant that it exposes the fact that those who are doing their "clever research" are using nothing more than Google. And since the book of Romans was used as a bibliography, maybe some better research within that book should be done.

    After all, there's Romans 1:26-27. That reads, "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

    Just remember two things: A.) Even Satan lied and manipulated God's word in the Garden of Eden at the time of the fall of man; and B.) Jesus lived a sinless life and paid the debt he did not owe for our sinful nature. With that being said, trading good for bad, or even worse, not caring and using certain parts of the Scripture to coincide with what's convenient for you does not make you right. Is that being judgmental? Not at all. After all, when presented before God, no matter how much society says you were a "good person," we all fall short. It's the blood of the lamb that saves each and every one of us. Good day and God bless.

  • --brassrat, calling out hypocritical statements by other human beings does not give you a leg to stand on. Interracial statuses during Biblical times were diminished and looked down upon. A baby from the parents of people of Samaria and Judea were called Samaritans. However, one of the most famous parables was "The Good Samaritan." If our logic is that two wrongs equal a right, then argue on. My belief is that is exactly what the enemy delights in. Instead, I'd advocate focusing on God's word, which has been the same, and will never change.

  • --@DianeHowe, I am a believer, but I guess a "confused" believer.  I believe Gods Word but I also believe Most homosexuals were born this way and are drawn to the same sex just as I am drawn to my husband of the opposite sex.  I believe God created life and the Bible says we were created in His image.  But I also believe that things can happen in the womb. Examples: Siamese twins joined at the head,  babies born with no limbs, brain, face. Babies born with both male & female sex organs and genitals (intersex), born gay/lesbian, and so on.  Are these examples of "His image"?   So, should siamese twins or limbless people not be able to get married because of the way they were born?  I would think not.  Again, for me it is a confusing matter and I find myself on the fence.  Because of my faith and being a believer,  I have a hard time with the thought of gay marriage and what is becoming of this world,  but I also believe every human should have the same rights.  The judgement stands between them and God.   As time goes on, and our (secular) world keeps changing,  I believe it will take a lot of prayer and strength from Christian parents to bring up their child the way of the Bible while still demonstrating love, respect and non-judgement of others who are different than themselves.  Watch the movie Prayers For Bobbie, a true story about a believer who is gay and was brought up in an Evangelical household.